Milk Mugs
There is a saying that when a child is born, a mother is also born. Of course, in this moment, a father is also born. It is the idea of being a parent, an entirely new person being created within them and with it, a new set of responsibilities, attitudes, values, and certainly fears. In his story, "Milk", Ron Carlson expounds on these phenomena, with the most obvious being fear. Through a story of defiance against a concept of fingerprinting his children, the father gives the reader a sense of parenthood and the emotional journey of being a father. Though his worries seem unfounded at times, it is easy to understand and relate to his unconditional love for his children and how this love leads to an internal paranoid obsession over the fear of losing them.
The father is the story, whose name is Jim, feels like a lot has changed within himself; not necessarily for better or worse but he certainly understands that things are different, that times are different. When one becomes a parent, there are definite life altering changes as that person finds themselves responsible for the life of another. Jim mentions that he feels like he and his wife have "grown up together." This suggests maybe a bit of physically growing up, but I think it implies more of a maturing together through shared experience. Certainly having kids together will cause a process of "growing up." Before the twins, Jim says that he had a much different view and approach to life, commenting that, "[My wife] and I promised to never post rules" after making fun of their friends for imposing so many on their children (67). However, under the spell of parenting, Jim finds himself dictating, something he promised he would never do. He says, "only after the boys arrived have I started with this rule stuff." This indicates a definite change in Jim since he has become a parent and supports the remark made by Ruth, the friend he had made fun of for her rule-making. "Wait until you have kids," she responds.
Jim's worries and fears are what drive the story and set the events of the story in motion. It is essentially what the tale is about. He refuses to allow his children to be fingerprinted, calling the precaution a "raging paranoia." The true essence of his defiance is evident and the irony of Jim attempting to avoid "raging paranoia" is clear. He is avoiding what he thinks is a paranoid behavior because of the fact that he is paranoid. He is worried, afraid that if he accepts the fingerprinting of his children, he would be accepting the notion that something could possibly happen to them. This fear escalates as he becomes more and more obsessed with the thoughts of missing children, seeing them on flyers, the comics, and on the back of his milk cartons. It really begins bothering him, so much so that he starts attaching attributes to children he sees who are alone, attributes that one would find on a "Have You Seen Me?" poster. It becomes obvious that there is much more going on within Jim than the issue of fingerprinting. It has almost nothing to do at all with fingerprinting, itself. It has everything to do with the fact that Jim is utterly terrified of losing his children.
While, at times, Jim's feelings and thoughts tend to seem a bit unreasonable and exaggerated, there can be a certain understanding and empathy towards his reactions. Fingerprinting their children, to Jim's wife and his mother, is much like buying a fire extinguisher or buying life insurance. You do it just in case, but hope to God you won't have to use it. Normally, having to actually use the fire extinguisher is not in the forefront of the mind, but with Jim, it certainly is. While arguing with his mother, he exclaims that, "They use [fingerprints] to identify the body. And my children will not need fingerprints, because nothing is going to happen to my children." This shines a grim light on parenthood. It shows that parents sometimes need to take certain precautions for their children, and by taking those precautions are forced to accept that something unspeakable could happen to them. If you believe there will never be a fire, there is no reason to buy a fire extinguisher. This appears to be Jim's thought process and having to accept the reality that something horrible could happen to his kids is something he's not ready to embrace.
Through the fear and paranoia, the reader begins to question Jim, his actions, and reactions. It is initially unclear as to why he is so obsessed with this and why he is significantly overreacting to something so seemingly trivial. However, the story seems to suggest that fear is not the stimulant for Jim's behavior, although it definitely plays a role; but it is love. The love Jim has for his children is what stimulates an array of emotions (fear, anxiety, suspiciousness, nervousness, etc.) causing him to worry excessively about the twins. At the same time, his love for the twins seems to keep him sane and give his life meaning. He describes them as having "beautiful faces" and that they "resembles angels so much that its troubling." It is almost a paradox how such loving positive feelings can lead to such negative behavior. It's like I said in my blog post; the love Jim portrays for his children really demonstrates how that love can lead to a crippling, unrelentless fear of losing them.
"Milk", on the surface, is a story about a father's defiance against fingerprinting his children. It is about a relationship between a husband and wife, a son and a mother, and certainly a father and his children. But beneath the surface lies a mantra of parenting and what it means to be a parent. What Jim goes through is, I assume, what every loving parent would go through when approached by the realization that bad things happen in the world and could possibly happen to their child. While this is true, it is not something any parent wants to accept as a possibility. By writing the story, I think Carlson wanted his readers to really delve into the mind of the father and find empathy and understanding for his internal struggle. It is a story about tiny fingerprints, how much a father doesn't want them, and how much he is afraid to lose them.
The father is the story, whose name is Jim, feels like a lot has changed within himself; not necessarily for better or worse but he certainly understands that things are different, that times are different. When one becomes a parent, there are definite life altering changes as that person finds themselves responsible for the life of another. Jim mentions that he feels like he and his wife have "grown up together." This suggests maybe a bit of physically growing up, but I think it implies more of a maturing together through shared experience. Certainly having kids together will cause a process of "growing up." Before the twins, Jim says that he had a much different view and approach to life, commenting that, "[My wife] and I promised to never post rules" after making fun of their friends for imposing so many on their children (67). However, under the spell of parenting, Jim finds himself dictating, something he promised he would never do. He says, "only after the boys arrived have I started with this rule stuff." This indicates a definite change in Jim since he has become a parent and supports the remark made by Ruth, the friend he had made fun of for her rule-making. "Wait until you have kids," she responds.
Jim's worries and fears are what drive the story and set the events of the story in motion. It is essentially what the tale is about. He refuses to allow his children to be fingerprinted, calling the precaution a "raging paranoia." The true essence of his defiance is evident and the irony of Jim attempting to avoid "raging paranoia" is clear. He is avoiding what he thinks is a paranoid behavior because of the fact that he is paranoid. He is worried, afraid that if he accepts the fingerprinting of his children, he would be accepting the notion that something could possibly happen to them. This fear escalates as he becomes more and more obsessed with the thoughts of missing children, seeing them on flyers, the comics, and on the back of his milk cartons. It really begins bothering him, so much so that he starts attaching attributes to children he sees who are alone, attributes that one would find on a "Have You Seen Me?" poster. It becomes obvious that there is much more going on within Jim than the issue of fingerprinting. It has almost nothing to do at all with fingerprinting, itself. It has everything to do with the fact that Jim is utterly terrified of losing his children.
While, at times, Jim's feelings and thoughts tend to seem a bit unreasonable and exaggerated, there can be a certain understanding and empathy towards his reactions. Fingerprinting their children, to Jim's wife and his mother, is much like buying a fire extinguisher or buying life insurance. You do it just in case, but hope to God you won't have to use it. Normally, having to actually use the fire extinguisher is not in the forefront of the mind, but with Jim, it certainly is. While arguing with his mother, he exclaims that, "They use [fingerprints] to identify the body. And my children will not need fingerprints, because nothing is going to happen to my children." This shines a grim light on parenthood. It shows that parents sometimes need to take certain precautions for their children, and by taking those precautions are forced to accept that something unspeakable could happen to them. If you believe there will never be a fire, there is no reason to buy a fire extinguisher. This appears to be Jim's thought process and having to accept the reality that something horrible could happen to his kids is something he's not ready to embrace.
Through the fear and paranoia, the reader begins to question Jim, his actions, and reactions. It is initially unclear as to why he is so obsessed with this and why he is significantly overreacting to something so seemingly trivial. However, the story seems to suggest that fear is not the stimulant for Jim's behavior, although it definitely plays a role; but it is love. The love Jim has for his children is what stimulates an array of emotions (fear, anxiety, suspiciousness, nervousness, etc.) causing him to worry excessively about the twins. At the same time, his love for the twins seems to keep him sane and give his life meaning. He describes them as having "beautiful faces" and that they "resembles angels so much that its troubling." It is almost a paradox how such loving positive feelings can lead to such negative behavior. It's like I said in my blog post; the love Jim portrays for his children really demonstrates how that love can lead to a crippling, unrelentless fear of losing them.
"Milk", on the surface, is a story about a father's defiance against fingerprinting his children. It is about a relationship between a husband and wife, a son and a mother, and certainly a father and his children. But beneath the surface lies a mantra of parenting and what it means to be a parent. What Jim goes through is, I assume, what every loving parent would go through when approached by the realization that bad things happen in the world and could possibly happen to their child. While this is true, it is not something any parent wants to accept as a possibility. By writing the story, I think Carlson wanted his readers to really delve into the mind of the father and find empathy and understanding for his internal struggle. It is a story about tiny fingerprints, how much a father doesn't want them, and how much he is afraid to lose them.
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